


Love me whole

by GR1EVER



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Desperation, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love, all angst and no fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GR1EVER/pseuds/GR1EVER
Summary: When did it become so complicated?Or has it always been?Songfic to Missio's "Love me whole"(Listen at your own discretion while reading)PS: I think I just broke my own heart...
Relationships: Seifer Almasy & Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy/Squall Leonhart
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Love me whole

"I hate you!"  
Labored breaths, hitched in my throat.   
My voice breaks and cracks while you claw at me, take me apart.

"I hate you...!"  
Every minute, every hour, _always_!

But you just laugh.  
A sound that could melt me in seconds, or bring me down to my knees even faster.

You claw and claw, take from me with every thrust of your hips.  
"You don't."  
So much confidence, and yet...

"I _loathe_ you!!" I hardly press out without moaning, halfway messing up the words as they slur from my lips and you notice, laughing again your demonic laugh.  
  


I hate you  
I loathe you

_Damn, I wish that had some truth at all..._

Marks all over my skin, bruises you leave, deliberately and uncaring.

Why don't you care?  
Why can't you?

Damn.

You force me down, both with your weight and your sheer brutality, as so often before.  
Not the same battle field, but it doesn't feel much different.

And as much as you claw at me, I claw at you, desperately.  
Searching for purchase, for safety, for something warmer than this.

"I loathe you!"  
Maybe, if I repeat it often enough, it will be true.

You lick my neck, tasting my sweat, purring with so much self-assurance and so little care about what we are doing.

It's not like you care what I say or scream, either... as long as you can find some release and take from me as much as you can.

I know damn well the words I manage to choke up are not true.  
And you know it too.  
It amuses you endlessly to know it.  
  


It shows in your jade-green eyes when you look at me that way.  
As if you almost pity me.

I need you.  
I need you...  
Every hour I need you.

My mind can hardly think of anything else but you, all the time.  
It's as if you somehow twisted my mind enough to have it be trained on you constantly, begging for the smallest crumbs of attention.

Your fingers trace my body and it feels like they cut me open, spreading out every truth in front of you.

My heart feels like it's about to give out from the sheer tight pressure of longing I feel, even though you are buried deep inside of me.

I want you.  
I want you...  
Forever, always.

But that's not true either.   
It's still too far from the truth.

Closer, still closer, but no matter how frantically I press my body up against yours, I cannot melt into you, be one with you entirely.  
You won't allow it.

I'm not special enough, too ordinary, too uneventful a soul for you to give a shit.

It almost drives tears to my eyes but I stifle them.  
If you saw, you would never touch me again.  
I can't be weak, not like that.  
Better you believe your thrusts make my eyes hazy, my voice trembling, and not your coldness. The way you use me.

My forhead sinks against your shoulder, my face burying in the nape of your neck, while I wail and whimper.  
I breathe you in deeply, needing no other essence to keep me alive in this moment.

Love me...  
Please, _please_ love me....  
 _Love all the frailties inside this ordinary soul._

My lips move, you think I just loose myself in romantic gestures and kisses again which you would never reprocreate, but no.  
It is worse.

"Love me....  
Love me whole..."  
I mouth silently between small screams and hitched breaths.

You don't notice, growl deep inside your throat as you spur me on further, nearing the moment you will give up this intimate closeness again which still will never be enough for me.

It's all just a game to you.  
And you play it so well.

My mind is all in jambles, has been my whole life.  
You make it worse, but I let you, happily.  
  


I just wished you could love me, for me.   
For who I am, wholly.  
Frail as I may be.

I can tell from your labored breath that you are close, and I am too, unable to withstand the pull you have on me.  
If being with you means tumbling into the abyss, I will follow you.  
I'm not even sure if I have a choice anymore.

Then it ends in our voices cascading together, our bodies arching and our fingers clawing one final time.

  
Although you release inside, it feels like you have just taken me apart and took all that was good and precious out of me.  
It always feels like this, leaving me emptier everytime.  
Moreso as you now pull away, humming satisfied to yourself, hand smoothing blond strands back where they belong.

You pat my cheek like I did a good job and it makes my heart flutter.  
Just a moment, before it feels like shattering again.  
I miss your warmth already, shiver, wrapping my arms around myself and feeling so lost, so incomplete.

If only you could love me and make me whole....


End file.
